Saturday, 31 January 2015

Saturday Sick Chat

Oh my, what a week!  I was all geared up to repeat week 3 of my C25K and sure enough on Monday I trotted off in the cold and wet and completed day 1 of Week 3 again then it all went tits up by Wednesday.

Pretty sure I don't do any of this!  I normally have bits I've purchased from co-op on my back - picture google pics
I normally give myself a rest day so as not to damage my 40 something bones and joints but by Wednesday I was feeling ropey, the hubster was already confined to our bed and the little fella had been sick and was sporting a high temperature. The best laid plans and all that #sigh.  So we were as sick as a small hospital in this household.  At one point all three of us were huddled up in bed together - which actually was rather nice albeit in a literally sick way.  Myself and the hubster took it in turns to hurl ourselves out of bed to look after the little fella and to do the school run.  I looked the paler of the two so got out of the freezing cold weather for the afternoon run. Go me!  I've always said there is nothing  worse than being ill and looking after small children.  You have to master the art of crawling again and willing the hours to count down until bedtime when you can just flake out.

I love nothing more than to cosy up with the kids and watch Wallace & Gromit - this is reason number 38  to have children as is Christmas time which is probably no#1 - oh and that they are really good fun when they're not telling you you're a wanker (in child like terms) although am sure the 11 year old will tell me that directly. All in good time.
In any event, the little fella appeared to be better by the afternoon. He indulged in a bit of Wallace and Gromit as did I as I couldn't move off the sofa and by Thursday I, to, was feeling a tad better. He whinged going into school but then he is a bit of a whinger so nothing new there.  When I got him in the afternoon - he looked very pale and I was told he fell asleep in the afternoon. Sure enough when I got him home he fell asleep at 4.30pm until about 10 am the next day.  Bad Mummy.  Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200. By the way, I appear to have rotten luck in this game my daughter whizzes around the board hoovering up all the affluent properties. I digress.

So he was off again Friday and has only really got better this afternoon. It would seem to be the case given his current condition playing Minecraft with his sister.  Speaking of which, she has decided on a Minecraft party this year. We've planned the cake, cupcakes and all the decorations and are most excited.

Steve is the main man - pic amazon where you can buy all things Minecraft 

So, the diet has been good but exercise non existent and I will certainly be raising a glass of water (I'm not allowed wine at the mo) when I finally complete the 8 week course.  What the C25K doesn't allow for is sick family members and being sick yourself. So once again I shall (on my 3rd attempt) complete week 3 of this programme. I am determined to finish it.

Speaking of exercise, I have enquired about my son joining a local Hockey club - he loves playing this at school as he does football (another enquiry although some mum's have given me the low down on football clubs and it doesn't sound appealing - training, parents etc etc).  I am sick of that bloody x-box which is his main hobby. He loves playing Destiny, Halo and Plant V Zombies which is all very well but a bit of sport will cut his gaming time.

So that's all my news. My husband is the diet police following on from my visit to the doctors this week. I am on tablets for my acid reflux (I went with a list of saved up aliments and was most impressed when he booked me in for an MOT set of blood tests, an x-ray and a course of treatment #saveourNHS) however, he feels that it will return when I stop them and will more than likely have to have a camera go down my oesophagus. Please god sedate me for that one.  I'm hoping I have more of a thyroid problem - every fat persons excuse - rather than issues with my stomach so we shall see.  In any event, I got a doctors appointment that morning and already have a dates for everything else.

I WILL be reviewing my food saver shortly - I think it'll be perfect for all my fondant that I buy for cake making as its a bugger to stop it drying out.

Until next time....

Sunday, 25 January 2015

Road Trip!

Howdy. I am back. Back from the road trip. The funeral. Remember? I like this style of blogging. There are many that do it. That. Is. Use. Lots of full stops. I shall stop as its very irritating.

On Thursday, I dropped the kids off at school and awaited my carriage to take me to sunny Matlock. Although it wasn't a carriage it was a fancy pants car driven by my Auntie - a Jaguar no less. Now I'm no car snob but it was a very comfy ride I have to say. And as for sunny will lets just replace that with snowy.

Pretty as a Christmas Card. We embraced the snow!
Prior to booking our B&B I did mention to said Auntie that should it snow we might not be able to make the 22% gradient to our chosen B&B or negotiate the country lanes to get to the 22% gradient. Like any sensible persons we totally disregarded, in the full knowledge, the back wheel drive of this comfy car was wholly unsuitability for such a location. "Its got lovely views" we chimed even though our room was at the back of the house and we weren't in the residence for more than an hour - excluding sleep time. This is how we roll us women. Accept it. You cannot change our warped logic.

It wasn't snowing as we entered Derby. The snow had arrived. We found this rather amusing and my Auntie slowed down so I could take various fun shots of the snow to upload on facebook. We had told my dad there was no snow in Derby and to get over yourself. Oh how we laughed. The roads were clear. Snow was good.

"go on there's no one behind me" Taking snaps along the way
Until that is, we had to go down the one track country lane to get to our chosen locale.  My Auntie thought it funny to say her back tyres were slipping all over the place as we gingerly headed down the track. Various expletives followed. Later, she admitted she was only joking.  In any event, we arrived in one piece and congratulated ourselves that we were still alive and the Jaguar was in tact.

The B&B was lovely and my Auntie's cousin greeted us on our arrival. Little did he know that he would become (as we affectionately called him) "our bitch" for the duration of our stay.  The bumbling cousins - not 1st but 2nd as well - had arrived.  

Being a true gentleman we followed behind his suitable 4 x 4 for this terrain to Matlock town centre. We enjoyed a lovely coffee together and reminisced about his father and his brother. We met up with my parents and wondered around the town. "oh a river" "oh a butchers" "oh the hills" - I'm sure he thought christ have this lot ever seen anything out of London!  

My Aunties poor cousin had to endure us taking snaps of various Matlock landmarks that tickled our fancy!
When we headed back to the B&B we had to negotiate the 22% gradient head on (we had entered via the lane at the top of the hill previously). As we entered the first hair pin bend the car started going backwards and we both started squeeling. I said "hit the excellerator" as had vaguely remembered in snow school (aka hubster) that you have to keep the car moving. My Auntie offered me a chance to drive to which I declined given that I do not have a good track record in snow = have crashed before now. However, we were chuffed when the car started to play ball. We entered another bend and were now at the steepest part when...

...some twat in a 4 x 4 was also coming down the hill. The words "we'll be alright as long as no one comes our way" were ringing in our ears having only been spoken a few minutes earlier. Urgh we had to stop and there was a deadly stand off. We weren't moving. He wasn't moving. I got out and asked Derby man if he could move into a drive so we could get back. He said no. NO! I mustered all my strength not to start calling him a Northern Wanker and also refrained from breaking out into my best East End gangster type voice that Ronnie and Reggie would have been proud of and said "but you've got a 4x4 and she's got a rear wheel drive". No he wasn't budging he said "she has to reverse all the way back down".

Hindsight is a wonderful thing and we should have just switched off the engine. But being good citizens we attempted to do as we were told. However, the car was having none of it and it started to slip and slide and was very attracted to a nearby wall.  In any event, we had to stop as the car was going to get it. The arsehole then reversed, at speed, back up the hill never to be seen again. Then I indulged in a bit of Cockney and shouted "Wanker!"

When retelling the story to the hubster I said "maybe he thought I was a posh southerner what with the Jag and all." To which he replied "no one is ever going to think that once you start opening your mouth!" before cracking up.

Thankfully, a nice Derby man came out and put a bit of carpet under the tyres and we managed to get back to our location. This was after I had phoned our cousin to come back and help us - he was only a minute away when I told him we were fine now! Poor bloke. Thankfully he came and collected us for the evening and dropped us back. The lovely B&B man also drove the car down for us when we left.

This story was probably re-told about 6 times during our stay so I thought a 7th wouldn't hurt.

We can not reverse nor got forward whilst 4 x 4 twat man sits and waits up the hill. Even in our peril we capture the moment!

We had a lovely day and night. The funeral wasn't so much fun but it was a lovely comforting service in a 11th century church - although I haven't been so cold in a very long time. We got back in one piece and switched off the Satnav when she piped up "keep right for central London".

On the diet front, I didn't over eat or drink but it did mean I didn't get to do 2 x days of my jogging programme so I'm going to re-start week 3 tomorrow.

Until next time...

Tuesday, 20 January 2015

Plant V Zombie Cake



and a bit of Tuesday chit chat to boot.  So I am on Week 3 (yes week 3!) of my running programme. I can run...wait for it...3 mins without stopping and collapsing! Dah dah dah. How funny - slow and steady and all that.  Tomorrow is Day 2 of Week 3 so I'll be pounding the pavement again.  I do feel fitter already and now run with an air of "I'm making progress" rather than a "please excuse me whilst I bounce past you - I'm not really a runner".  I now have a face that suggests no dialogue will ever commence with myself and any random passer by.

I haven't weighed myself. I have been logging my food and my jeans feel marginally looser. I did do a cheeky measurement around the fattest part of my waist i.e to my belly button and I do appear to have lost 2 inches.  I shouldn't have done that really as by the end of the 8 weeks I'll be a tad disappointed if is still only 2 inches.

It was a busy week last week - my son turned 11 so I had to make the cake (which took me the best part of Thursday).  I have to say I did have a slice (recorded) and I do believe I have mastered the art of the chocolate cake. I think I'll make chocolate cake for all my birthday cakes too. One of the mum's from school asked if I sold them. I said I used to but found it wasn't that profitable. I may do the odd one here and there and see how it goes.

Anyhow, without further ado. Here's my step by step guide on how to make a Plant V Zombie Cake. This is a game on x-box which my son and daughter love to play.


Check out the green chap - he's a pea shooter!

So firstly make some chocolate cake - I did one large round and another smaller one - I think the height of this cake was just right.  I decided to make the head out of chocolate rice krispies. Just mould the cooling mess in a bowl, shape then cover with clingfilm and pop in the fridge until desired. I then covered both of them in chocolate butter cream.

Got myself a nice green grass board
Slap on the buttercream

Cover with your fondant

The faffy lose the will to live bit - making a picket fence 

I covered the head with a different shade of green and made the eyes etc. For the mouth I had a deep pink fondant but then used a red liquid paint

I've a added the fingers and used the butter cream and different shades of brown to represent the Zombie bursting through the lawn! Final touches with the sunflower, pea shooter and potatoes
I am off to the funeral on Thursday and have more or less packed. I hope it doesn't snow - the hubster has the school routine to do list and everything is in order. I am looking forward to breakfast, lunch and dinner being served up to me and no picking up stuff and stepping in to mediate my children.  I may not come back.  

I have a product to review at the weekend and will have to think of a rant! I appreciate I have been lacking on this front but not much is getting my goat that hasn't already been said. I think that you're all aware that I am of a significant left wing/socialist/armchair communist persuasion. I see no point to Nick Clegg, Loath David Cameron and feel desperate for Red Ed. I still want to run into a charity shop and demand to know how they come to their ludicrous prices - only yesterday I saw a lovely 1950s aqua marine lemonade set. All mine for the right royal rip of £35! Speaking of royals I would like them to sell up and give us the proceeds and I'm an inverse snob. Will that do you?!

Speaking of rants, this week a parent invoiced another for not coming to a party.  People should turn up but don't. People should be polite but aren't. Get over it. Life's not fair. Park it in that wanker parent said they'd come but didn't. You look a dick sending out an invoice and just confirm why I can't stand the middle classes. Prats the lot of them.



See you in mojito.....

Wednesday, 14 January 2015

Passionate Wednesday!



I don't ordinarily do album fillers on my blog but just couldn't resist this passionate and beautiful 5 minute YouTube montage to music. And not content with this I've also added two of Richard's quotes.





Now I must insist you watch it all!


Tuesday, 13 January 2015

January, You're Not So Bad

Its not a typo. I mean it.  I used to hate this month for soooo many years. The bleak, dreary weather, the leanest month on your pocket and heaviest on your frame. Same old same old.

The gorgeous January Jones from Mad Men (pic google pics).  A unique name for a unique month

Having a January baby certainly helps to lift your spirits in January.  It does brighten up the start of the year.  Tomorrow I shall be baking a cake creation for my eldest (who turns 11 on Sunday). A Plant V Zombie cake - now how can that not cheer you up?  I've also had to buy stuff. I am forced to in January. Instead of being really skint I can now be exceptionally skint leading into the month of February. That gives me a weird kind of inner peace or in layman's terms -  a fuck it attitude!

My best friend also has a birthday the day before my son's. It brings back happy memories of me merrily texting (in the morning, on her 30th birthday) "yeah I'm in labour" "its not that bad" "I'm watching Sex in The City box sets". She didn't hear from me from approx 6pm that evening. I was unable to text "how am I still alive when I'm in so much pain?"  I still wonder about that.  Anyhow, said friend is coming up and we can have a natter whilst all the boys run a mock in a laser quest.  

I'm also feeling really good. I don't have shin splints from trying out the C25K app and find it easy to fit into my daily routine. I'm currently on Week 2 with Day 2 tomorrow. The distances are already stretching out and I do feel leaner. My feet do hurt after I've done a work out but I always knew that - hopefully as the 1lbs drop my feet will become less like flat footed troll feet and emerge wonderfully bouncy and spring like. 

My feet feel as flat as these troll feet whilst running - pics google pics
I came across this running website also for amazing weight loss transformations whilst running. Funnily enough if you google how much weight lost whilst running you get lots of links as to why you won't lose weight. I've chosen to ignore them and not click on and of the links.  Don't burst my bubble google.  I've also kept my food diary for 8 days straight.  I feeling positive about this and life in general.  

I shall keep you all posted and post pictures of the birthday cake with my normal 'how to guide'.  

Until next time..





Saturday, 10 January 2015

Saturday Chit Chat


So I put on 4lbs at Christmas. I finally dusted the scales from the back of the washing basket and bit the bullet so to speak.  As suspected.

I have completed 'myfitnesspal' religiously and more importantly I have now completed the first week of my couch to 5K app. I decided to go straight from school drop off on Wednesday and it was absolutely tipping it down with rain. The mum's thought I was mad going jogging in this weather but as I wrote before (following on from reading What's Your Excuse Not to Exercise) if you don't exercise every time it rains then that's a whole lot of exercise you're not doing.  My coat was so drenched it took all day to dry out on the radiator and the breathing mesh on my trainers aren't waterproof. Even on the second day of the app I noticed I had finished my route 3 minutes quicker than I had done on the 1st attempt and today I finished it about 5 minutes quicker. Which means next week I'll have to go a bit further out on my route.

I have been totally inspired by lots of people who have completed this app and dropped stones in particular Rachel from www.theordinarylovely.com speaking of which she sent me a link to an excellent article on fitness for weight loss. Basically, it said that exercise has very little impact on weight loss. Yarp sorry folks.  In fact, it said (following on from very scientific calculations and studies etc) that you are far better to spend time on logging your calories or preparing a healthy meal than exercising. The amount of exercise you have to do to lose a small bit of weight is massive.  I think the vast majority of people (myself included in days gone by) will eat more because they have exercised but basically even if you are running you need to still only consume your dieting calories.

I found it a very interesting read. Here's the link.

In other news, my love affair with Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton has yet to diminish.  They made many poor films together until they were panned so repeatedly that they had to start making them separately which ultimately led to the demise of their relationship.  In any event, I love watching them and they're not so bad (except Boom! which is truly awful!) The VIPs (set at Heathrow airport - a wonderful 1960s period piece featuring a very young Maggie Smith) where Liz is having an affair and Richard is her husband , The Comedians (about the troubles in Haiti) where Liz is married to someone else and is having an affair with Richard and last nights delight The Sandpiper where..you've guessed it..Richard is married having an affair with Liz who is a divorced, free spirited artist and to really add the wow factor Richard was a clergyman!  A common theme going on then. But I love watching nevertheless for that old movie colour and the on screen chemistry. They made such a beautiful couple.

Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton in The Sandpiper perfect Sunday viewing for us old romantics even if morally the story is quite wrong on every level! You can't help being mesmerised by these two
Don't you just love the colour of these old films 

These films are in colour - The Comedians - They're both getting on a bit in this film but still look great together
Elizabeth's wardrobe was by Givenchy in this film - its a slow burner but if you just watch it for the old telephones and a by gone era than its a must!
Well that's all for now folks - have a wonderful weekend!







Wednesday, 7 January 2015

Back In The Game

Okay I confess, I have had quite a few guest blog posts of late with wonderful tales of weight loss and fitness but I, on the other hand, have gone a little dark. I had got back into my exercise following on from the holidays but my calorie counting had been slacking. I settled right back into maintaining my weight with the odd 3/4 lb weight gain and 3/4 lb weight loss.

I haven't weighed myself since before Christmas (will do on Thursday) I'm estimating, by the feel of my jeans, about a 3/4 lb gain - that figure again! Its not excessive and I've been quite pleased with my Christmas weight gain over the last couple of years. It hasn't been creeping over the 7lb mark and beyond. Those days are long gone. In fact, I can't pack it away like I used to. I was reading some comments on a weight loss blog the other day and one woman said she put on a stone and a half at Christmas! That is just ridiculous.

Anyhow, I've taken photos front and side and will post in 3 months time for maximum effect.  I have done my measurements and yesterday (the app has sat on my phone for the best part of 2 years) I completed my first ever C25K (that's couch to 5 km for those that don't know what the hell I'm talking about). My calories have also been logged. Now don't I just sound like every other person at the start of January? Well yes but I know that it is just a continuation of what I have been doing on and off since I started the blog.

In addition, acid reflux has played a huge part in my renewed enthusiasm for all things healthy.  Here is a short list - not definitive by any means - of all the things that give me chronic heartburn or acid reflux! Okay here goes:- coffee, tea, water, fizzy drinks (given up) satsumas, crisps (gave them up 95% from August), chocolate, wine of all descriptions, beer, cheese, butter and the list goes on. Basically a lot of stuff and that doesn't include a whole list of 'healthy' stuff also. In fact today I had my 50g of granola and 30 minutes later I'm feeling the burn.

How runners used to look in the 1970s! There was a huge running boom in the 1970s in America.  Gone are the days when just a pair of flappy shorts and vest top are required! 

It became more apparent over the Xmas holidays to the point I thought I might die of acid reflux! I spoke with my Aunt who casually explained that she'd had it since she was little as did my grandad and that it ran in the family. I can stop googling cancer of the oesophagus now and other such diseases. Although left untreated it can cause huge problems like what I've just said innit.

I think I'll leave the doctors for a bit longer although it really made me think about my diet and whether the intense pain, saliva and coughing to the point I can throw up is really worth a glass of wine?  I have a history of throwing up after drinking alcohol. I remember visiting the doctors at 18 and him telling me that clearly I was allergic. I quickly dismissed this novice quack and continued to binge drink to well into my mid twenties. Speaking of which remember when doctors used to be older than you? Welcome to the forties people.

I also had a light bulb moment when I downed a croissant after Christmas. Not content with one I had another. After about 5 minutes I started to cough a lot then violently threw up. Then I remembered that my body cannot tolerate butter at all! Since returning from France last year my family have become butter snobs. They will only eat the real thing if you please.  So, my eldest son who is already a fussy eater to the point where I want to force feed him, refuses your bog standard marg. This can make him sound quite the up yourself middle class twat when out and about as he'll say "is it real butter?" "cheese sandwich please but not grated" "I do like duck and pineapple" is his reply when people say "well what do you eat?" oh for the love of god!  His food consumption or lack of is a different post entirely.

So I am unable to eat butter which is a good thing I think - not that I had a lot on my ryvita but I'm certainly not going to miss it. I'm going off on several tangents here.  I drank quite a bit of wine over the Xmas period - well a lot for me not to my sister! So I think the acid reflux is in overdrive.

Back to the couch to 5km.  So, it was raining heavily just before I donned my trainers.  My inner chimp was thinking you can't possible start your first day of 'jogging' in this weather. I promptly smacked my chimp down and set off in my see through Nike running pants.  Why the thin material they weren't cheap?! I got this particular pair as they have a pocket in the arse section so I can carry my belongings.  Anyhow, I had to make sure I was wearing black knickers. I decided against the Ipod as I wanted to hear my instructions of when to walk and when to 'run'.  I zipped up my plastic rain coat and tentatively opened my front door. Oh, I forgot I also thought I'd pop some birthday invitations through a letterbox so put on my rucksac. This was a silly idea as it keep slipping of my shoulders due to the shiny plastic nature of my weather wear. It was awkward. I was awkward.

Anyhow I was out that was the main thing.  I'm not really a self conscious person. I don't notice people staring and looking and what not and half the time people are so wrapped up in themselves that no one is looking at anyone.  However, I did feel self conscious. Not because I don't look like a runner i.e slim but just because I looked and felt uncomfortable. To add to this when it was time to "start running for 60 seconds" I'd reached the local parade of shops with workman and people minding their own business. I tried to 'run' like I was late for something so pretending that I wasn't actually trying to run.

Tell I lie I did notice a man wearing a matching grey trackie bottom ensemble carrying his shopping. He kept eye balling me. I stared back and thought don't even go there lardy you're hardly a picture of health and fitness. I think it did the trick. I mean what do you think I'm doing?

Anyhow, to the novice the programme is great and I was puffed out you walk for 5 mins then 'run'. I would say my 'run' is more of a walking a bit quicker but with a bouncing type of action.  Lets not carried away with the word 'run'. Then you walk for 90 seconds. Honestly when I was bouncing I was counting down the 60 seconds willing the Yank to tell me when I could walk again.

This lasted in total for 30 minutes so not excessive and yes I was out of breath and red in the face but I managed it. The beasts were contained in my Freya sports bra and I felt like I'd had a good workout. My feet did hurt but then they do if I've walked a long way.

So there you have it - a start. I don't intend to take up running I still don't think its good to pound the streets on concrete but I do believe it shreds fat and that's the main thing. I'm looking forward to tomorrow's Day 2 and am feeling grrrrrreat!

Ta ta for now.